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Package of baconAs she was unloading the items on to the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.”She was a bit startled by this proclamation, but was intrigued by the drunk’s intuition, since she indeed had never found Mr. Right and was single.She looked over the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity got the better of her and she said, “‘Yes, you are correct. But how on earth did you know that I was single?”The drunk replied, “Cause ... you’re really fuckin’ ugly.”A friend of mine has two tickets for the 2017 Super Bowl. Box seats plus airfares, accommodation etc., but he didn’t realize when he bought them that this is going to be on the same day as his wedding - so he can’t go. If you’re interested and want. "I smiled. "You're a Robby too?" Naw, but she-an is." I pointed at Robbie.He looked surprised. "Your name is Robby?"I considered telling him that her name was Roberta but she went by Robbie, but I decided that I needed more life insurance before risking it. Robbie nodded."I's Tony and this here's my fi-ance Kelly," I said, pronouncing the word with two syllables instead of three.Robby's eyes bulged. "She's your fiancee? She's only twelve." Kelly's thirteen." I shook my head. "Ah know that's purty old, but her mama wanted her to finish the fifth grade 'fore she got hitched, and it done took her three tries." Kelly brought her elbow back into my stomach. I grunted, then added, "She don' like to talk about it, but I's loves her anyall."From the corner of my eye I saw Tami rolling her eyes."Y'all from around here?" I asked."Sacramento," Greg said."You're kinda cute," I told the younger boy. "Traci over there ain't found her a husband yet. Why don't you ask her."Greg looked ready for a.
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