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Taking my hands in his and kissing me lightly he declared that I was ready for the next stage and bid me attend on him in his ‘surgery’ tomorrow when for an hour we will be alone in the house.He would not enlarge upon what he meant by ‘the next stage’ but smiled knowingly. I have heard of no ‘next stage’ following on from pelvic massage in the gossip of the coffee houses and do not know what Sigi intends. He surely cannot mean…. No I cannot write it. No more could I permit it.…..Can I doubt it? Could I stand before JVH and say I didn’t know what S(igmund). intended? No. The knowledge was in my heart and mind and I crushed it, refusing to let it emerge into the light of day, where it never belonged.He welcomed me not as Fr. Freud but as Mama, and I stood meek as he undressed me and assisted me onto the table. I pretended all was as it had been before, physician and patient, although he did not cover my face and let me see the look in his eyes as he caressed my breasts and stomach and. I knew a few guys used to joke about gay comments just as a way to tease their guy friends. But his smile and tone of voice made it pretty believable. I didnt know what to say, so I just laughed a nervous laugh, feeling blood rush to my face as I blushed. Sadly, I really didnt have much luck with the ladies…and I didnt want the majority of the hicks in this town. I had never thought of being with a guy, so getting a compliment from one seemed strange to me, but I was still extremely flattered. We talked a bit throughout class, mostly about school and music, turned out he was really into rock and metal like myself. He would time to time make flirtatious comments. I was pretty sure by now he was gay, or at least bi. The next couple of days went by, and I admit I looked forward to chorus class and to spend time with my new friend. Chris and I of course still hung out at lunch and after school even. We were in a wanna-be rock band as our 14yr old lack of experience showed on our guitar.
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