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He asked for his good mate Jock to come to his bedside."Jock" he says, "Jock, you know that bottle of21 year old malt whiskey that I promised ye we would have a wee taste..." Well when I am gone and I am put in the ground,I want ye to promise me to pour that bottle over me coffin - will ye do that for me!" Aye " said Jock. "I would be mightly honoured to do that for ye"."As an extra mark of respect I would like to strain it through me kidneys first"These are compliments of RabbiRabbit and they are awful, really bad:If you would run all of these at once I would be most grateful and you can even use the jokegasm line, as awful as it may be.What's the difference between a little kid and a lesbian?A little kid shouldn't run with scissors, and a lesbian shouldn't scissor with the runs..What would you call a Mexican quarterback?El Paso..An old Norwegian couple lives on a cove at the north end of a lake in North Dakota. It's early winter and the southern portion of the cove's frozen. I knew he was watching and knew that if I tried to ease the ache he would delay his arrival. I heard the turn of the lock, footsteps and the close of the door. And then silence. Why wasn’t he coming to me? Do I dare speak? It was as if he could read my mind as I heard him say,” no baby girl not a word. Put your arms over your head.” Oh I know what this means, I am so ready for him, I can feel the trickle starting. I start to spread my legs open and he notices. “I did not tell you to move baby girl, is there something you would like to say?” “Yes, I am sorry Sir, please forgive me.” “I will forgive you only because it has been longer than normal since I have taken care of you, but you will still be punished.” Normally that would seem like a bad thing to most people, but to me it only made the trickle run faster. I can feel the puddle under me already. The sounds coming across the room tell me he is undressing. In my mind I am screaming, please hurry. Suddenly I feel a hand around my.
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