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Wanted it more than anything. That’s why I was going to force it; tonight, by my own hand.Then, would you like to change the lives of those you hold dear?I hadn’t expected another message.The faces of the two women I lived with—my aunt and my younger sister—surfaced momentarily from the depths of my selfishness, but I closed my eyes to them.Aunt Riley was getting by just fine without my help, and Jessie—You’re running away from it.—was better off without a useless brother like me. I selected “no” again.There was no third prompt.Since I didn’t have anywhere in particular to go, I walked aimlessly around my small coastal Florida town of Navarre taking pictures of whatever happened to catch my attention. I’d like to say they were the best pictures I’d ever taken. To say that before my death a miracle occurred and I captured my last will and testament in photographic form.If miracles like that really occurred, maybe I wouldn’t have felt like running away.No, the pictures I took were as. She clicks on the next worship sheet, and without turning to me, asks “is that the picture, where you did it.....?”This is obviously where She makes me pants-spunk - I’m not in view, all you can hear is me trying to answer Her – “that’s one of them Miss”, but in a strangled, croaky voice. She must have heard though and realised I was doing it in my pants at that moment. She doesn’t turn around for a couple of minutes, but when She does She’s asking if I’d like to see some poses. That’s probably the bravest I got when it comes to talking to Her. There are a couple of other moments in that Worship Session where I speak a bit more openly that I’d done before, but listening to all of what She said on the video of the Session, it’s mind-boggling. A lot of it is Her comments on my worship sheets and videos, as well as responding to the commentary on my worship videos (in a woman’s voice) with words of Her own. At another point She says, in response to the worship video commentary – “I know.
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