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If you do this and later if I am successful in my career, the feeling that I spoiled your life will be ever with me. I will live the rest of my life with this guilty feeling. Please don’t ever do this. Drop this plan.”I responded, “Kishore, you know me very well. I never had any boyfriend even before marriage. I kept away from these things. Even I am not happy doing this. But the only thing I am happy with doing this is that this will help your career progress. I understand your concern”“I strictly said to that person that he cannot expect too much from me. I think just a few romance scenes he wants to do. I think he is in a craze of touching and feeling female. I will hold my nerves, do it with him, and come back. Don’t feel guilty or emotional. I am doing this by myself and you are not forcing for it. Therefore, you do not need to feel guilty.”Kishore was not yet convinced and started begging, “Anni, what so ever. Don’t do this. My mind won’t accept compromising you with someone. I don't figure either Rhiannon or I should. Maybe the timing wasn't right and for that I guess I am a little sorry, but we haven't done anything wrong by each other or by you. We're grown-ups and we don't need your permission."Something about the speech seemed a little rehearsed and I wondered how late the two of them had lain awake last night and gone over what they were going to say to me. I guess I should have been thankful that they didn't decide to hide it from me, to protect me from it. I should have been glad for that, but for what seemed like the millionth time in less than a week I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say anything at all."Are you mad?" Joe asked, sounding very much like a little boy who'd been caught sneaking cookies from the jar.I shook my head. "No," I said when I finally could get my tongue to form words. "I'm not mad. I'm not ... anything. I'm just ... numb."Joe laughed. "You and me both, Lilly. I've always dreamt but—" he shrugged his wide shoulders as.
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