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You’ve got it all figured out.’ She paused as the bartender delivered the beers. When she was gone, Madison asked seriously, ‘There is one small problem that is going to be a major one if we don’t handle it right.’ I looked at her a second and then I replied, ‘Yeah I know, Chandra. How is she going to feel if she finds out, we’ve been…? How should I say this? Playing? Is that a good word?’ Madison nodded and smiled, ‘It’ll work for right now.’ She took a sip of her beer and then she said softly, ‘She and I have split boyfriends a couple of times but they weren’t anyone important or special. This time might be different though. You’re someone special to both of us. Mentally, I don’t think I would have a problem sharing you with her but I’m not sure of the other way round.’ I took a deep breath and blew it out noisily. ‘I know better than to get between two friends but what can I say, I like you both and I’m having a hard time resisting the temptations you both are. I guess I’m still. These questions cover parts 3 and 4 of thediaries.Again, thanks to Matt for putting the questions together.Away we go ...1. You obviously had some deep struggles. How close did you come in2007 to giving the dream of being a girl? How were you able to get pastthe stress and doubt? Do you have any recommendations for those whomight be in that situation now?The answer lies in your heart. For me, there were a million reasons togive up rocketing around in my head during that time and a few othersthroughout the process. In the end though, it wouldn't have made mehappy. I knew in my heart transitioning was the right thing to do and Irecognized I had to chase it and catch it. I hear from a lot of peoplewho "wish" and "want" to have transitioned, but they can't because of alife or wife or whatever. I understand where they're coming from. Ijust never wanted to wonder what if. Priorities are everything in life.I never came close to bailing on my transition. You have good days andbad.
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