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But eventually I got good at the ol' 1-2-snicker-snack.I don't know much about the private lives of zombies, why they don't eat each other, if or where they sleep, how they can walk and grab if they can't even figure out how a zipper works, and other imponderables.I guess in the middle ages, it was thought that fleas came from old rags, spontaneously springing into existence. I know a baby pigeon is called a squib, but I have never seen one, perhaps they are a mythological creature like bigfoot and unicorns. I have strange random thoughts at times. I guess I am trying to say, that the lifestyles of the brain dead are a mystery to me.I expect at some point they will all die, they are just to stupid to live. I hope that event happens before the expiration date on all the canned goods. That would be the height of irony, to survive the zombie apocalypse and outlive the zombies only to be felled by botulism. Note to self: Don't eat any dented or bulging cans.Ok, I had my next leader's. You cannot believe how uncomfortable it is to wear 23 pairs of pantiesall at the same time. My legs were hurting, I felt like I was wearing adiaper. The waist bands were digging into my flesh. Because of thethickness of the material, I had to waddle a bit instead of regularwalking. Mother requested that I wiggle my hips more as that would makemy day a little less uncomfortable. "And for Christ's sake, take smallersteps!" she yelled as she followed me around watching as I walked aroundafter putting on the panties.Mother informed me I couldn't just be parading about the house in justlingerie, so she went to my closet and pulled out a baby doll nightgown.I told her I shouldn't be walking around all day in my pajamas either,but she informed me that this way, I could visually see that theunderwear I was wearing coordinated well. If I'd have just put on a skirtand a top or a dress to cover my bra and panties, I wouldn't have been inthis mess in the first place. Mother had me put up my hands.
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