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“Yes, Hark I hear the cannons roar” confirms the agent. “I love it” says the actor “When’s the audition?” “Wednesday” says the agent.Wednesday comes and the actor arrives at the audition. He marches on stage and shouts: “Hark I hear the cannons roar!” “Brilliant” says the director “You’ve got the job. Be here 9 o’clock tomorrow evening”.The actor is so ecstatic he got the job that he leaves and heads straight to his favourite pub and goes on a major bender. One thing leads to another and next thing he knows its 8.30pm the next night - half an hour until show time! He runs to the theatre continually repeating his line: “Hark I hear the cannons roar! Hark I hear the cannons roar! Hark I hear the cannons roar!”He arrives at the stage entrance, out of breath and is stopped by a production assistant. “Who the hell are you?” asks the assistant. “I’m ‘Hark I hear the cannons roar’” “You’re ‘Hark I hear the cannons roar’?” “Yes, I’m ‘Hark I hear the cannons roar’” “You’re late! Get up to. Instead they had gone for presents specifically from Wales, Nicola had a paper-weight for his desk in the form of a six inch long red Welsh dragon and her mother had a bottle of Welsh whisky.“If you catch his eye properly today he may offer to take you into his harem as a wife,” said Sharifa, “Do you fancy being married to an Emir?”“Me?” asked Nicola, startled.“Either of you,” replied Sharifa, privately amused at the consternation on the faces of the two women.Just then the door opened. When the Emir entered Nicola and Gwenllian realised that no ceremony was required, since Sharifa did not throw herself to the floor in obeisance.“What have we here?” he asked, “A delegation?”“We have brought you our birthday greetings, sir,” said Nicola.They offered their presents and he opened each of them gravely.“Thank you both,” he said, “I am well aware that you are in a difficult position, I have anything I want simply by telling my staff, and you have successfully contrived to bring me two.
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