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My wife had joined her older sister, Anita, our daughter, Maria, and our niece, Toni, along with a dozen other women, for Toni’s bridal shower. Although only the four of them were still in the living room, their loud voices and cackling led me to believe the wine had flowed heavily that afternoon. They may not have been drunk but they were all feeling very, very good. They were so loud and involved with their hen party I was sure they hadn’t even heard me come in. I’d chuckled to myself, thinking of these four. All had dark hair and darker complexions, remnants of their Hispanic heritage. The reason I was chuckling was that, like many Hispanic women, the younger ones were thin, almost boyish, while their mothers had, umm… blossomed. Betty and Anita would now be considered full figured. Of course, with those large breasts came a big butt and hips and a permanent large muffin top. Not that I’m going to throw stones, since I still find Betty beautiful, plus I’ve got a gut of my own.. You will be cleaned, seasoned, slaughtered, dressed with Bar-B-Q sauce for the spit and you will be part of your Governments meat program of Skewered Long pigs; all our Long pig meat is spitted or skewered on a long pointed Stainless Steel metal rod, and are hickory smoked and slow roasted, cooked over an open flame. Government Inspectors are USDA, Butchers, and Cooks will be on hand to process you. Have proper ID with you; wear only clothes that can be cut off. No jewelry please. Please inform the Inspectors if you are meat or grain or soy fed meat unit; grain and soy meat units will be processed first. Also have someone drop you off; we are not able to return motor transportation back to your home, since of the amount of meat we process is beyond of our ability to return your transport. Failure to comply will cause us to force the Government plan to publicly process your whole family as food. From all of us at Meat Plant # 53 we hope you enjoy your day with us. We look forward in.
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