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I tried several things, but was barely making enough to put diesel in the truck and propane for the stove and water heater, much less afford to eat. I don’t think I had eaten so much soup and noodles in my life before that. Hamburger became like eating out at Ruth Chris! I wound up at a temp agency sitting and waiting for day help call outs. And most of the people were looking for young strong backs, not thirty eight year old developer washouts. And when I did get work it was almost more than I could bear. Many a day I drove back out to my little clearing and contemplated suicide. But slowly things became easier. I wasn’t as strong as some of the young bucks, but I worked smart not hard and knew my way around. Winding up working as day labor for the same construction crew for most of my second summer after the divorce. I didn’t go climbing around like a monkey with an air nailer, but I was pretty good at framing up walls and making up headers. And after all those years of developing. Happy now?”“No Cal, I’m not.”“You’re not?” she asked, a note of surprise in her voice, “why?”“Because I haven’t got my Cal anymore,” I said, softly.“But I’m here,” she objected.“Yes,” I agreed, “but you’re not my Cal anymore, you’re just Cal.”“And you’re going out with Kathy aren’t you?” she asked.“We’re friends, but nothing more than that. She wants to date, but her Dad will only allow her to go out with me.”“Why you?” she asked, “in particular I mean?”“He knows me, and knows I wouldn’t hurt her, and I’m Mike’s best friend.”“You would never hurt anybody intentionally David,” she said, rubbing my arm.“Oh I could,” I replied, “believe me, that night in Munich I was praying for your new boyfriend to say something so I could hurt him.”“Oh well, yes, you are an absolute terror on the rugby pitch. Talking of which you’re not playing this year are you?”“No,” I replied.“Why not?”“Because the way I’m feeling right now, I might really injure someone, and I don’t want to do that.”“I’m sorry,”.
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