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Slowly, I meticulously started at my toes that were resting on the side step. I worked my way up my leg, as I drifted off in my head, back to his face. His dark silky black hair and those grey eyes that could see deep into you. Without realizing it, I had moved the luffa around my breasts. I placed it on the shelf and began to massage them till my nipples stood completely hard and achy. I continued to rub each of them and slowly made my way around my neck and back down my hips. As my breath quickened, I thought back to his jeans and how tightly they wrapped around his bulging package. I'm sure it had to be big and thick to fill them so nicely. My hands now slowly wondered from my breast to my belly and around my hips. The lather was so thick, I appeared to be covered in a layer of snow. "Mmmm," I slowly and quietly moaned to myself. My hands found my radiating mound. I slowly slid my hand between my legs letting the foam run down my arm onto my slick pussy. My fingers easily. I can not hope for this to be as I would like it. Doing so would mean not considering you and your situation. So instead I attempt to get through the day as best I can. I muddle through. I struggle to maintain my composure each and every minute of my day. A day that drags on and on and gets harder and harder to get through. Each day I wonder. Each day I tell myself. I tell myself that this it is for the best. That it can’t be any other way. It has to be this way and this way only. I try to explain it to myself. I try to understand it. I try to make peace with it. I try to convince my heart that the ache, the pain, the emptiness will go away. That there will be a ‘someone’ for me, a ‘someday’ for me. That there is the possibility, however remote, of a new beginning, a new start for my failed life. Each day I try. Each day I hope. I hope you are well. I hope you are OK. I hope that I am at least a passing thought in your day to day life now. I hope you remember the things we talked.
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