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The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a good book.Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a whileI intend to live forever, or die trying.Die, my dear? Why that's the last thing I'll do!When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'.From the moment I picked up your book until I put it down, I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.Learn from the mistakes of others. You can never live long enough to make them all yourself.The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER.Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.I've had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.One morning I shot. Things like enhanced pheromones, and testes that can churn out more semen than a typical college frat house. Oh, and two dicks. Sometimes.I have a regular penis. Well, not regular – it’s about 15cm long when limp and more than 30cm erect, and a little more than 6cm across. I call it Honest Johnson. But it is basically a regular penis. Underneath it is where things get complicated. The genetic engineers at the company gave me a few new muscles, a few new sphincters, and a second, more elastic penis. Most of the time, I keep those sphincters shut with no more effort or thought than you use to keep your asshole closed, and even during sex it is nothing at all to keep Tricky Dick hidden away. The enhanced elasticity lets it compact really small when not in use. But if I want to, and if Honest Johnson isn’t already too erect (it gets complicated, trust me), a barely visible “knot” in my scrotum opens up and Tricky Dick joins the party. The only real hitch is that I only have.
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