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I shout outside my window, "We're AllFictionmaniacs!" William Shakespeare wore a corset.Charles Dickens a ballgown.Dostoyevsky a ballerina:A dancing, bearded clown.Lipstick on Mister Hemmingway.Nabokov a teen temptress.Mark Twain in a prairie bonnet.Poe a girl, all Gothic.Gabriel Garcia Marquez shouts:"Great Bards and Wormly Hacks,You're welcome to submit and joinThe Fictionmaniacs!"At midnight, manly maidensConsecrate the great taboo.In dresses extra, extra-largeAnd size eleven shoes,They lurk proudly in shadowsHearts yearning to be seen.Eyes wet with anxious worry,Cautious closet queensParade in leary legionsGarbed in skirts and not in slacksA shy and fearful pageant ofFictionmaniacs.Praise be to TiresiasAnd frontiersmen all long-gone.When everybody's shouting"Which side are you on?"Candy Darling and Jackie CurtisLived life both Sweet and Sour.While pre-judging patrons howled at themThey drew on hidden power.Loud enough just to be seenRoaming roads less traveled back,For nobody. 'I don't' she said with some vehemence, 'speak French.' And then smiled and asked us how she could help. In English. James was quite delighted to discover that they had satellite TV, and watched a late night German quiz programme in which the contestants, all perfect specimens of Teutonic man and womanhood, stripped to the buff for completely unknown reasons. Unknown that is, unless you spoke German. I didn't realise at the time just why James was watching, but let's just say that the girls weren't the only pretty ones and draw a veil over the rest. Suffice to say that he was very active that night. But there we are, the innocence of a new bride.It was the next day when we were approaching the place where we thought we should turn off for Gorlitz that we had a bit of a surprise."I think we should have turned back there," said James."No," I replied, "it didn't say Gorlitz." Hmm..."We stopped to look at the map, and yes, I did have it the right way up.It turned out that the Polish name.
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