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"Not when you're a wanking of me in my sleep no!" I explained."Well it looked so uncomfortable all stuck right up like a tent pole," she explained."Look be quiet will you or to sure we'll waken Martha," I warned."You have done," Martha said, "Leave the poor lad alone Mary." But he'll mess the bed!" Mary exclaimed."Then have him poke you," Martha suggested, "But let me sleep." Maybe I could poke you instead Martha?" I said."Later maybe," she said, "Good night." You'd rather poke that slut than poke me!" Mary hissed."To help the poor girl relax for her sleep Mary, just for a kindness," I explained, "Maybe tomorrow it'll just be the two of us." Oh no Michael," Sister Martha added, "That's a sin, man lying with an unmarried woman, no Sister Ignacious she looked all though the good book and nowhere does it say a man should not lie with two women." Are you sure you have that right?" I asked curiously."Indeed Michael, shall you check for yourself?" Mary asked."No, I'll bear it well enough,". I like your style, we should hang out more often. I am sorry that I like blue cheese so much and now you are slowly getting tighter. In fact, not just blue cheese but all food. (That's another open letter) That goes to all my underwear actually, I am sorry that some of you are slowly getting tighter, but I don't want to start buying you in a bigger size. It is winter here now, and I am hibernating, so please stop judging me. In the summer we can work together again. Deal?Dear men's satin boxer shorts I purchased for $5 on a whim- I love you. You are so comfortable and if I had it my way, I would only wear you and a tank top in the summer, but apparently proper clothing is required in public. I will buy more pairs of you in the summer so I can wear you around the house. Thank you for not pressuring or judging me. Dear sexy red underwear- I am saving you for a special occasion, you and I both know what that is. I will throw you at a celebrity one day, I just can't decide between.
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