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A couple were driving home late at night in the pouring rain when their car accidentally ran over a badger. They got out of the car to see whether it was still alive, and found that although it was very cold, the animal was still breathing. “What shall we do?” said the wife. “I know,” said the husband. “Put it between your legs to warm it up.” “But it’s all wet and it stinks!” “Well, cover the badger’s nose then!”A man strolls into a pharmacy and asks the assistant for some condoms. She asks, “What size please?” “Good question,” he replies, “ I’m not sure,” “Tell ya what. Right outside, there’s a fence with three holes in it, stick your dick in the holes and tell me which one it fits in,” suggests the lady. So he takes her advice, goes outside and puts his d**k in the first hole. A woman walks past, see’s his dick and starts feeling it. The man thinks, “Hey, this ain’t too bad.” Then he puts his dick in the second hole, another woman walks by, and gives him a blow job. At this point,. I definitely got his attention. I strolled down the beach a bit, away from where the other surfers were and laid out my towel and got comfortable. I lay down on my stomach and reached behind me and untied my top so I did not get any bikini lines in my tan. I was watching the surfer in the parking lot the entire time from behind my sunglasses and he was definitely watching me. When he had his board out, he walked down the beach right past me and then went into the water. Since I was on my stomach I could not see him now so I rolled over on my back, holding the top in place. I then untied the string that was around my neck and made sure my nipples were covered as I sat there and watched him surf. It was absolutely gorgeous, the sun was bright and the weather was warm. If it was not a Monday, I am sure the beach would have been packed, but since it was Monday and the kids were in school there was practically no one there. After about 45 minutes, he was getting out of the water and I.
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