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The pressure that my work put on everyone I knew. She wanted a child of her own. When would that come into play? Lisa and Ted wouldn’t let that mistake happen again. I knew now that Lisa regretted it happening at all. That had probably been the deal breaker for us as a trio, and if I’d had my head out of the clouds and in the real world, I’d have known where this was heading. Where it had to head. Lisa and Ted were leaving me, and Gretchen would soon tire of me. As the desire for a child grew stronger, she would leave me, too. Leave me in search of a man that could give her what I could not. Over the next half hour, I drank half the bottle and was filled with a warm glow. It wasn’t real, I knew. But for now it would keep the pain at bay. Lord knows I should know that for a fact. I held up the bottle, feeling a little disconnected from my own body. This was therapeutic, medicinal. A light came on somewhere behind me, probably in the Brown Room, but I knew I was safe in the shade of. I’m always the one who keeps his head when things go wrong. I just can’t cope with the way I feel today.”“You don’t look well at all. Come here and let me make you feel better.”She took me in her arms and held me tight. She held me for quite a long time. I felt the warmth from her body slowly seeping like a burst of energy through to me. I clung to her. It felt so good. I felt loved again.Slowly, I started to feel as if her body warmth and her affection were healing my mind. I closed my eyes and all thoughts and worries slowly evaporated. It was like a sweeping of my mind where all the rubbish, the dirt, the crap and the stress was eradicated and only the clean, the fresh and the knowledge remained.The other thing that happened is that I started to feel sexually aroused. The warmth from a woman’s body has that ability but it required just one extra ingredient, emotional attraction. It was then that it dawned on me. I knew why I felt depressed. My love for Ronnie was slowly being.
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