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He looked down at it and smiled, asking me what I had been doing. Then quickly saying not to answer that, we both laughed and hugged again before going into the house. He sat on the sofa, and I studied this now very handsome man. He was well defined and tanned not like the Martin I remembered. His eyes sparkled and he was full of confidence, looking wonderful in his camouflage shirt and trousers. Feelings of our friendship swept over me, we still had a bond, a connection that had never been broken. It was like we had never been apart but he had transformed into a swan. I made us a coffee and sat beside him. He told me about serving in Northern Ireland and the lucky escapes he had. I sat transfixed, he looked down at my bump and asked me how long I had to go, telling me I’d be a great mum,and asking to feel my bump. I smiled and nodded approval as I undid a few buttons on my blouse, his strong hands traced over my big belly quite taking me by surprise at the feelings he was giving me.. What I believe is that Jenova (or Zeldah) realized that she could not face me because she had lied to me and sent me false pictures. So she decided to just stop talking to me. Jenova had sent me 9 pictures of herself and said they were all of her. I put them on my website and people kept telling me it wasn’t the same girl, but I just said whatever because I wanted to believe so bad that she was being honest with me. I didn’t want to think she would lie to me. I believe that she could not face me because those pictures were fake and she lied to me about everything. Her friends. Her family members. Situations that she had explained to me and so on. I also believe, that maybe, she was scared. That she didn’t want to admit to me that she lied, and that she would get so upset when I accused her of being Jenova because she didn’t want to be proven wrong. Zeldah agreed to meet me, sometime this summer. I asked her about it and she said she would. I am afraid that she will stand me up.
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