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I had nothing to worry about untilFriday. After I'd hung up the phone, Mother told me she was glad I hadthe day off because there were some things we had to talk about.Mother handed me an envelope addressed to me from Father. She left mealone for a while to give me an opportunity to read it. Basically itinformed me that my parents were to be divorced and the reason he wasn'taround anymore was that he'd moved out and started a relationship withanother woman. He told me he was proud of me and wished me all the luckand wanted me to know that he'd be there for me if I needed anything. Hetold me that my college expenses would be taken care of and that was justabout it. Not a tear came to my eyes. Mother returned a few minutes afterI'd put the letter down and hugged me. She asked me if there were anyquestions. Now I knew why the wedding ring was off her finger. She toldme when things were really down, a girl goes shopping. She asked me if Ihad any desire to hit the malls. I had to agree. ” “ That's true. How can I know you don't want to do the same to me? I don't trust you.” “ I don't want to hurt you. I love your mind, your imagination. You're beautiful and I would never hurt you.” I wanted to believe him, but couldn't. I wanted to stay there and write stories I could tell him at night, but still a part of me wanted to tantalize him, wanted to hurt him and know the pain he had caused so many women. I knew we could have nice dinners and laugh, but there would be boundaries I would never cross. I wanted a man I could love and give myself to without reservations and doubted I could ever feel safe with Angelo, even though he seemed so different than the man who came to Rosie's with a new woman every night. The trick was how to write stories that I knew would enchant him, turn him on, and, I have to admit, get me hot, but keep him from fucking me. Who was I tantalizing when story after story made him hard and me wet, and I would get him to jerk off while I took care.
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