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The rain was now lashing against the walls and windows of the house causing a continuous echo of what sounded like 'white noise' echoing through the vast empty building.Having walked inside I found that we were standing inside a large atrium that reached up to the roof of the house where an immense glass dome allowed the light from outside to shine in. There were three floors each of which had a balcony looking over into the atrium and were connected by two sets of winding stairs on either side of the house. Considering it was abandoned the inside was quite clean being free of rubbish and debris.Emma took my right hand and guided me towards the stairs on the right. "Come on, this way!" As we ascended the staircase I couldn't help but feel like I was being watched and my heart beat seemed to increase exponentially as a result. She led me up to the third floor where there was a corridor stretching to the back of the building. There were rooms on either side of the corridor identified. And then her lips were on mine, her eyes to my eyes, and we kissed; hungry; and I wanted her. OH, how I wanted her.In an instant, she pushed me back, and pinned me to the bed, holding my wrists. My eyes begged her to do it. I was not going to stop us. I didn't know what to do, how to go forward. I wanted to, FUCK how I wanted to.'Fuck my inexperience!' I thought; I wish I had known more been more aggressive. Been more sure. Been more for her. My god, I wanted her, but I don't think I responded passionately enough. God, I hope I didn't make her feel rejected. We came within a single word of making love that night. It ended up being her word to say - and she said no. And then she broke down in tears for the second time I had ever seen since knowing her. "I'm such a horrible person," she cried. I didn't know what to say. I was processing all that happened and I... I... I didn't know! I HATE that I freeze up in difficult situations instead of knowing just what to say, how to be.
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