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”Magus said, “A well stocked medicine cabinet can be indispensable in a good marriage. You will want to stock it with sedatives for visits by in-laws, amphetamines for evenings to the opera, anti-depressants for when her sex drive dies, and aspirin for daily use.”“Don’t forget the Viagra for use with your mistress,” Oscar said.Nodding his head in agreement, Magus said, “Just so that you know, take a sedative before your first trip to the opera and then amphetamines to all visits thereafter. It will convince your wife that you’ve actually become interested in the opera as a result of her influence and will generally result in sex.”“Do not ever take an amphetamine before a visit from your mother-in-law. You will find that your tongue is a much faster organ than your brain. It can lead to an exciting evening that involves lots of shouting and breaking of fragile things. That little error motivated my second two year expedition to locate the lost Aztec city of gold,” Oscar said.Leland. Although we had all just graduated high school, we took our jobs very seriously. This was evidenced by the fact that we had only two drownings that summer and 92 rescues.The rescues were usually because the water was cold and some folk’s cardiac system couldn’t handle the temperature, or they got out too far and couldn’t swim well enough to get back to shallow water. The two drownings were tragic. One was a child who got away from his mom and the other was a teen who had snuck vodka onto the beach. He was drunk when he walked out into deeper water to take a piss and passed out face down.There was a traditional end of summer party for all the guards from the two beaches and the eleven swim pools. It was held at the Pfister Hotel and was a big do. There were over 200 lifeguards that summer and the twelve of us decided that we wanted to have our own private party. One of the guys parents were the late 60’s free love types and they allowed us to have the party at their house while they.
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