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She says I'm just an Internet pornographer. I told her someone has to write Internet pornography. I mean, it's not going to write itself, right?Pete: Here, here!Alan: She says me being on this sex fantasy site can only lead to no good. She says pretty soon I'll be hanging out with a bunch of perverts.(There is a murmur in the crowd.)Pete: Uh, we don't like that word here.Bob: No, Sheepy-Poo does not like that word. Would you like to touch Sheepy-Poo?Charles: Uh, Bob. Not everyone shares your fantasy about gang banging your inflatable sheep. Please.Bob: But Sheepy-Poo would like that.Alan: Dude, uh what is with you and Sheepy-Poo? I mean it's a fuckin' inflatable sheep for Christ sakes!Carrie: Did someone say fuck? I wanna fuck!Charles: OK, look, calm down, people. We are all civilized people here. Do you have any other problems? I mean how is your sex life?Alan: Well, I think it's pretty good. But she doesn't seem to agree.Charles: What is the problem?Alan: I don't know. Just the. . An' not the three all together-together, you know? Not the same time, I have all of them." Well, that's a relief. The way they're paying us down here, I wouldn't want to try to support even one!"I barely had time to move my suitcase to William Bradley's pad before we were opening at home Saturday night. The stadium was packed to capacity with enthusiastic fans. I was wishing my teammates had name tags on their jerseys because I'd only had the briefest of introductions to them, and wasn't that good with names anyway. Especially mostly Spanish names.But Hernando was attentive to my needs as a newcomer, and he introduced me to my fellow denizens of the bullpen. I didn't get all the names straight the first time around, but I tried to be ingratiating and to let them know I was making an effort to blend in.Unfortunately for me, Hernando Escobar, despite his age, was the starting catcher. My bullpen catcher, it turned out, would be whichever of the pitchers had appeared in a game most.
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