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" Now, look, you knew when you married me that I was the most inept guy around the house ever created." That bad, huh?" asked my sister-in-law, Judy."Oh, he's hopeless. Can't do a thing. I choose his clothes each morning or he'd be laughed at at work. And cook? Forget it. All he can do is set off the smoke alarms."I had to save a bit of my pride, "Well, I do appreciate your cooking at least." Yes, you do. But you may starve when I start traveling." I suppose I could always come over and cook and do the laundry and stuff while you're setting new sales records. What are sisters for? It's not like I'm tied down after my bastard husband left me." Well, you'd save Charlie's life. But, maybe he'll rather have his Alpo." Oh, come on, Alpo? Your sister is as good a cook as you are. I like the idea." Well, you'd hardly know I'm gone. She looks enough like me, you'd hardly notice." Yeah, I might even grab her in the kitchen, she looks so much like you." Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you,. Unfortunately I don't know his name but I do know that he produced his masterpiece about 150 years ago. That could be a generational millennium for some members of my species but in my case, due to weather conditions, physical locations and (I like to believe) genetics, it was less than two handfuls. When I refer to my esteemed ancestor as Gramps you should realize that in fact he was likely only my Great x 4 Grandfather.Enough of history. In Gramps' day it was normal and natural for members of my family to reside on humans. They were a reliable source of nutrition (mainly blood) and they usually provided more creature comforts (protection from rain and cold etc.) than cats, dogs and other potential hosts. But all that has changed.I spent the early part of my life living on a dog, Caesar. It wasn't too bad since he was a farm dog and I didn't have to contend with regular grooming, baths and those killer powders and such that I've heard are common with the higher class city dogs.I.
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