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I fond myself looking forward toZak’s return and had some very erotic thoughts of Zakas he lay there in his bunk and looked at the pinup ofme. I would think of surprising him and slipping intobed with him and taking care of his needs. The twomonths passed and Zak sent me his arrival schedule. Iwas very anxious to meet Zak and greet him. (AdProvider = window.AdProvider || []).push({"serve": {}});On the night before his return, I lay in bed with myhand down between my thighs feeling my moist woman hoodthinking of how much I needed a man and thinking of howmuch Zak must need a woman. I wondered if it werepossible that black Zak had dreamed of actually havingBrenda, his pin up girl? I knew that I had dreamed of him and especially ofrecent days. I suppose the old adage is true about whenone is not near the one they love, they will love theone they are near. I was now convinced that I wantedZak and was very hopeful that he wanted to take care ofthe “Tight End” in the. It was as if we had met in my dream, spent some time together and then parted ways once more. I was happy to have seen you again, though it was only in my dreams. I awoke with a warm glow coursing through my tired body. And then, I did something that was quite rare for me now, I smiled. …………….. It’s not just love. Nor was it as plain as desire. Actually, I wouldn’t know how to desire you. How does one make love to love itself? At its most simplest it was that I still needed you. Though cliché, I needed you with the same unaware desperateness, as the air that sustained me. Its not just that I need it, nor is it that I really love it. But without this air, I would cease to exist. I don’t rightly know if I love you or not. Its just that without you, in a manner of speaking, I also cease to exist. And herein lies the dilemma that has plagued me all these long and lonely years. How many of us really Need the ones that we Love, and more importantly, how many of us really Love the ones.
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