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'How old were you when it was cut off?'My mum said I was two days old.'Did it hurt?You bet it hurt. I couldn't walk for a year, 'This one is compliments of John & Beryl:FLAWLESS MALE LOGIC...Woman:Do you drink beer?Man: YesWoman:How many beers a day?Man:Usually about 3 draft Bock beersWoman:How much do you pay per Draft Bock beer?Man: $5.00 which includes a tip(This is where it gets scary!)Woman:And how long have you been drinking?Man:About 20 years, I supposeWoman:So a Bock beer costs $5 and you have 3 Bock beers a day which puts your spending each month at $450. In one year, it would be approximately $5400 correct?Man:CorrectWoman:If in 1 year you spend $5400, not accounting for inflation, the past 20 years puts your spending at $108,000, correct?Man:CorrectWoman:Do you know that if you didn't drink so much Bock beer, that money could have been put in a step-up interest savings account and after accounting for compound interest for the past 20 years, you could have now bought a. It was Friday and things were lazy, like usual. I wasplanning to just stay in, watch some DVDs, nothingspecial. I had planned to watch some action movie, apretty gory one. In fact, it had some pretty intensegunfights too. An all-around guy movie. I popped it inand sat down. I was going solo tonight because I hadpeeked in on Katie about an hour prior and found her tobe fast asleep, cozy in her bed.After the previews finished up, I heard that familiarshuffling and Katie wandered into the living room, herhair teased and tussled, her eyes tired and squintingfrom the aftereffects of prematurely awakening.“Why didn’t you wake me up, jerk?” she asked, slightlyslurring her speech.I was taken aback a bit by her slight annoyance at menot having woken her up. I made an effort not to make alazy excuse.“I’m sorry! I saw you asleep and didn’t want to wakeyou up. I didn’t think it would be a big deal. It’sjust some dumb movie I’m.
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