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I went up to the bow with my speaking trumpet and as soon as I thought I could be heard on the pier I called “Wrong Place, out of Widemouth, returning home with two prizes!”The cheer I got in return was loud, even louder than the one when the sun came up to show my ship floating in the cofferdam. No fight today, just a bunch of sailors coming safely home and bringing lots of money.Pirate’s Gift was moored right in the middle of the pier, and there was no room for all three more ships. One of us could go upstream and another downstream, but there was nowhere for the third ship to go. I called over “Stand by to receive prisoners”, then had Wrong Place continue on past the dock. I called over to Dolphin and Thunder and told them to moor at the town’s dock, and we anchored where we were.Once those two had unloaded everyone they could, I told Filo and Matto to take both of them over to our yard’s pier ... which seemed to be even more incomplete than when we left ... and I got to moor. I assumed that I couldn’t get a cabin by myself, since the other cabins we passed all had cars parked in front of them. I could wear clothes, but that would look totally stupid and perhaps even be rude. In the midst of this serious thought process, I thought of something a bit bizarre.“Diana?”“Yes, Mick?” She looked at me with her expression changing to one of hope.“If everyone is naked, what do women do on their periods?” I know, I’m brilliant.I don’t know why I asked that. I guess I was killing time, putting off the ultimate inevitability. But Diana took pity on me and answered in a calm and straightforward manner.“Most women will wear a thong bottom or a bigger bottom depending on if they need to wear a tampon or a pad.”“So, if I wore clothes it would look bad.” I was praying for an answer that I feared would not be what I wanted.“It would be rude, and it would be against the camp rules too,” Diana drove another nail into my coffin.“It’s against the rules to wear clothes?” I knew.
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