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"Robert wanted to know more." How do you contact this alien interpreter? How long will it take?" We simply phone him, Robert. His name is Lofe.For every planet being settled, we place communication satellites in orbit, and install phone linkages. We give phones to all the persons that have a valid reason to contact us, or who might need to be able to contact their leader for assistance. On the planet Filonia, as we call it, where they now live, Lofe is the de facto leader. His links to us seem to be important to them. We are not so sure he likes to be in charge."Robert was deflated. "Oh. I thought it would be more exciting than that. You just phone this alien you want to speak to? Is that it?" Of course. It is logical to arrange things that way, is it not?" Where do the communications satellites come from? Does Earth supply them to you?" They did, to begin with, but now we manufacture our own, using the originals as a template. The same applies to the phones. The phones are FUN to. Normally, I was treated to the day's digest of what the kids had done in nursery, how bad the shops were and trivia of the day that doesn't affect me.There was much excitement in the weeks preceding the wedding. Barry stayed with his parents for six weeks before the big day to heighten the pleasure. Tina wouldn't even let me come through the front door. Then at last the big day arrived. We stayed at the hotel venue the night before. Liz was there for the final girls' night out, the mayhem and trauma of getting the bride ready, makeup artiste, hairstylist, wedding planner, psychotherapist; you get the picture. I had quality time with the kids. Tina looked stunning! The hair, the makeup, she was always sexy, but today she was an inaccessible babe. The ceremony went smoothly; all the children, hers, ours and everybody's were well behaved. The reception was an afternoon and evening event, but my wife Liz decided that we should leave about 8 pm and drive home; who was I to argue? I.
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