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In your soul. This is who I am, now, and for always. I cannever go back to how I was. I would never want to, not in a millionbillion years. And it was you, Peter, darling. You saw it in me.You sensed Jessica, before I did. It was you, your recognition of me,the real me, the true me, as you called it, that turned everythingaround in my life. I had discovered a part of me with enormouspossibilities, that first night with Brad. But you, seeing mesomehow, as you did, that day in the washroom at the office," I added,"that was my catalyst, my starting point. I've become all that Icould ever want, darling, and I owe so much of it to you."He shook his head. "You owe me nothing, Jessica. It is I, who oweyou." For what?"Peter's face became serious, and I saw his eyes become watery. Misty."After Josie passed, I grieved. I knew the process. I'd spent yearsin law enforcement, and the military. I'd seen loss, and I'd feltloss, more times than I care to admit. We would get. I would wake up early to add to that time and do an Olympic size triathlon. The local triathlon team trained in Thetis Lake, early in the mornings. When fat old me showed up for the first time, they all tried hard not to laugh. I wasn’t concerned. I wasn’t there to train with them. It was just a coincidence that they trained there. After months of training, they all respected me. They couldn’t understand why a guy as big as me would even try to do that much exercise, forget doing it as often as I did. At my weight, riding a bike that distance would normally cause bone splints, if not, break your tail bone. In all that time, the only reason I didn’t break any bones was because they were hardened from the years of abuse. It saddened me that, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t lose weight. I understood why, but it didn’t make it any easier to take.When I was 20, my stomach valves started failing. One or both would fail, sometimes they would fail open, and other times they failed.
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