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What’s different now?”“You’re moving out there,” she said simply. “Part of what scared her off before was the distance. She’s a nice girl. She wasn’t interested in being your girl for the length of the conference and then being just another notch on your belt.”That got me laughing. It was ludicrous and absurd and tragic all at the same time.“It’s not funny, Ham!” she growled at me.“Do you know how many women I’ve had sex with in my whole life?” I asked her, finally getting myself under control.“Well, I figured that there were girls out in LA,” she said, taken aback.“Billy told you there weren’t,” I said dryly. “I figured out afterwards that he was so eager for me to confess to cheating on you so that it would soften the blow when you two came out.”“Okay, so you’re saying you didn’t have a rebound girl?” she asked.“Nope. I was too hurt to let anyone in,” I told her.“So just me and Sabrina?” she asked, surprised.“Wrong again. The night of the accident we were on our way home to spend. As they passed through a metal door he found himself in aspacious and stylishly decorated room. She led him to a vanity tablewith a mirror mounted on it. As he sat down he found himself staring athis familiar face above a very unfamiliar and gigantic set of milk-bags."I know," she said with false sympathy. "It's ridiculous for you tohave a male face and such an exaggeratedly female body. So how aboutyou do some more makeover work? For starters, soften your face. Giveyourself an upturned pug nose. And definitely let me see some pillowlips. No, I mean a real puffy kisser. That's more like it. And I knowyou can control your hair the same way, so get rid of every bit of it onyour body. Okay? And make your eyelashes a whole lot longer. Thatlooks terrific. Flutter them at yourself. Now send a few air kisses atyour reflection. Isn't this fun? Reshape your eyebrows so they're highand arched. And finally make the hair on your head grow until itreaches your shoulders. Oh,.
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