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"Maybe you think it'd be pretty funny if you got fucked," she said. Before I knew what was going on, she undid her belt buckle with one hand while hoisting one of my legs over her shoulder, pulling me to the edge of the massage table, with the other. She let her jeans drop to the floor in a clatter, hooked her boxer briefs with a thumb and yanked those down to reveal a large, flesh-colored strap-on cock. The sight would have been more disconcerting on a less-masculine woman. As it was, Bobbi looked pretty natural with a cock between her legs. Still in the heady space of sex, it took me a few seconds to figure out what she was going to do. She spit on her hand and rubbed the shaft of her hard rubber cock. Once I realized that she was going to fuck me, I started struggling to get away. She was having none of that. She held tight to my leg grunting, "Hold still, little bitch. I'm gonna pop your cherry." She pulled me closer and I felt a searing pain tear through me. "No, please! Stop!". Frankly, you’ve not been much help at all. If anything, you’ve delayed my trip with your talk.”The man below responded, “You must be a congresswoman.”“I am,” replied the balloonist, “but how did you know?”“Well,” said the man, “you don’t know where you are or where you’re going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you’ve no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it’s my bloody fault!”Compliments of a shy reader... A Man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at a drunken lady swigging her gin as she sits alone at a nearby table.The wife asks, “Do you know her?”“Yes,” sighs the husband. “She’s my ex-wife. She took to drinking right after we divorced seven years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.”“My goodness!” says the wife. “Who would.
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