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I said, “Well, I, a couple, no a few months ago I caught Joe looking at, well he was, he had porn on his computer and he was…”She asked, “You caught Joe looking at porn in the basement?”I said, “NO, it wasn’t just looking at it, he was, well he, he was masturbating to it!” There I had said it. I had told her the whole truth. I realized I had my eyes shut when I heard her giggling. I looked to see what she found so amusing. Amy said in a higher tone than her usual tenor voice, “Listen girl, all men jack off, and most of them look at porn and jack off. I’m not making excuses for Jim, I mean Joe. He should be loving on you every night, but if he isn’t it’s not because of porn girl, it’s because you are not exciting him the way you need to. You have to do stuff to keep your man. You do want to keep him, right?”I said, “Yes, absolutely!”She said, “Well Honey, men need to be inspired. It’s not enough just to catch them and land them. That’s the easy part. When you marry them you’ve got to. " Lizzie 'quick as you please' opened the door of a cabinet, took out a canvass bag, and threw it on the table in front of me. As the bag hit the tabletop, it came open, spilling out gold nuggets. ... CK", I finally managed to finish, staring at the bright yellow fortune in front of me.I looked up at Lizzie as she smugly said, "Just so you know, that outbuilding that burnt was the entrance to Pa's mine. That oughta cover the cost of them pelts, don't cha think, mister?" Oh, shit" I thought, she's fucking serious!"Hell yes, that's enough money to buy them pelts", I began to yell, "and about ten time as many more, you little fool!" Knowing I wasn't going to get off that easy, I finished by saying "put that damn gold away someplace safe, Kid, and let me sleep on it. We'll talk about it more in the morning — right now, I'm too tuckered out to think straight."This seemed to placate Lizzie for the short term. She got me set up in a big, comfortable bed by the fire and settled herself.
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