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A lonely frog goes to a psychic to find out about his future. The psychic tells him, “You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you.”The frog is thrilled and says, “This is great! Where will I meet her? At work, at a party?”“No,” says the psychic, “in a biology class.”Two chemists, a brunette and a blonde, walk into a bar.The brunette says, “I’ll have some H2O.”The blonde says, “I’ll have some H2O, too.”The blonde died.There’s a new kind of coffee that acts as a strong laxative.It’s called G.I. JoeHow do two cats make love?The male cat goes to the female cat and says ‘naaaoooouuuw’.And the female cat responds by saying, ‘not naaaoooouuuw’.If you rob a bank in a sanctuary city, is it “illegal”, or just an “undocumented withdrawal”?What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and ET?ET learned to speak English and wanted to go home... A liberal is someone who wants you to think like them.A conservative is someone who just wants you to. "I agree Maria, totally. Judith, would you, Carroll, and Maria join me in the powder room," Jean asked or rather commanded.I stood just as all the ladies at the table stood en masse. That powder room was going to be very crowded I thought. We all walked together, but Phyllis and I held firmly onto Carroll, as I feared she was about to run for her life. I saw that wide-eyed frightened look before and I was not about to let my daughter enter the she-devils den without me.The inquisition started as soon as we entered through the door and it closed. We were encircled by them as the door was locked and blocked. We were stuck in this bastion of femininity! They made the challenge and I accepted it showing my fangs, claws and dripping venom to protect my young daughter.Phyllis and I protected Carroll from all their bitchiness. I was proud of my daughter as she too defended herself from the thundering fierce gathering of all those women. We made them all cringe in fear and made them count.
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