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-Phyllis DillerA bachelor is a guy who never made the same mistake once.-Phyllis DillerI want my children to have all the things I couldn't afford. Then I want to move in with them.-Phyllis DillerMost children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.-Phyllis DillerAny time three New Yorkers get into a cab without an argument, a bank has just been robbed.-Phyllis DillerWe spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve years telling them to sit down and shut up.-Phyllis DillerBurt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room.-Phyllis DillerWhat I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.-Phyllis DillerThe only time I ever enjoyed ironing was the day I accidentally got gin in the steam iron.-Phyllis DillerHis finest hour lasted a minute and a half.-Phyllis DillerOld age is when the liver spots show through your gloves.-Phyllis DillerMy. No words were necessary, nor were they even available. After all, what could I possibly have said to her?I remembered the night that he took her cherry. For months he had been sticking his cock in her mouth and forcing her to swallow his cum. I had no clue that he was taking advantage of her they way, nor even any suspicion. Back then he was still able to keep it hard enough to fuck me. Plus, he did it to her when I was out of the apartment.But when he popped open that secret door that we were given by Mother Nature, he'd had a few drinks. I was already asleep when he went into Kate's room. Her scream woke me. I jumped out of bed and ran into her room, ready to comfort her from a bad dream or from the sight of a rat that was really only a mouse. Instead, all I saw was Steve's naked ass on Kate's bed, right over the spot where she would be laying. And that ass was rising up and plunging down just the way it does when he fucks me."Get the fuck off of her, you prick!" My yell actually.
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