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What arethe five dreaded words no man wants to hear in the course of arelationship? No, I don't mean "let's just ask for directions." Joannatook my hands in hers and gazed into my eyes."Sweetheart," she intoned, "we need to talk."Oh, no; no, no, no, no nyet. My friends' words came back to haunt me. "Maybe we should get a second opinion," I suggested helpfully. "Is GregHouse available? Besides, isn't there some professional ethics thing aboutyou shrinking your husband's head?" Sweetie!" she exclaimed with false wounded pride. "Who better to find outwhat is bothering you than me? You know I have nothing but your bestinterests at heart. You do trust me, don't you?"Don't you just hate it when they ask that? Whenever they use the "T" word,it involves something you just know you will regret later. It's a lose-lose situation. Say "yes" and you might as well bend over and spread yourcheeks; you are fucked. Say "no" and it's the coming of the next Ice Age -and you are fucked. What would you. For the third day in a row I made my way to my sister in law's house, it was a good job Karen was on one of her away trips; but this time I reached the house in trepidation, what was Alison going to say? I, of course, would act dumb as if I had no knowledge of what took place the day before. "Henry came yesterday." "Oh good! Did he sort you out?" "Not exactly, follow me." And she led me up to her bedroom. "What do you see?" "I can't see the pipes from here Alison." "I don't mean the fucking pipes!" I was taken aback, for the second day l heard my sister in law raise her voice and swear. "Sorry, I don't know what you mean!" "Look around you." I looked all around, at the walls, the window, the ceiling, the door; anywhere but the floor! "Look at the floor!" Her face was tense as she ordered me to lower my eyes. "Well?" "Clothes!" "That's right Pete." She picked up a pair of black silky panties with purple bows on them and passed them to me. "What would you do with them Pete?" "They're.
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