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In general the sex wassatisfactory but not what either of us had hoped for. I was soinexperienced, and considering my prudishness it’s a wonder I everagreed to be his mistress at all. I continued to find sex pleasant butbe non-orgasmic and squeamish. Once we tried it anally, but I squealedin agony after slight penetration and was afraid to try again. And Irefused to fellate him; it was too disgusting to contemplate. He waspatient with me, but after three months he hinted that if things didn’tchange soon our arrangement might end. That was the last thing I wanted!I was desperate to please him but too scared to try.J arranged for a doctor friend to give me birth control pills. Myappointment was at 5:30 p.m. After asking if I’d ever had agynecological exam and learning this was my first, the doctor called thenurse into the room and told her she could go home. I remember howembarrassed I was when he had me disrobe while he sat there watching, metrying unsuccessfully to. I've heard the expression "the lights are on but nobody's home" and I thought I knew what it meant. Boy was I wrong. Her expression was completely blank, her eyes completely dead. I've seen more expressiveness in the plastic eyes and face of my Barbie dolls. I'm positive she didn't see me even though she looked right at me. The only thing I could see was a brief flash of what might have been pain when the guy let go of her butt with one hand and squeezed her tit, This was not the face of some making love. It took a second to register, and then I knew what was happening.I turned and ran up the stairs, panicked. I wasn't exactly watching where I was going and tripped over the broom at the top of the stairs. I sprawled across the hall. Behind me I heard a deep voice saying, "Gads, girl, watch where you're goin'. Are you okay?" I looked back at the janitor; he had a push broom and had just been about to cross in front of the stairs when I had charged up. I just stared at him. In a more.
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