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I said, “When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.”The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.Moral to this story : Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other is the husband.A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The waitress asks them for their orders.The man says, “A hamburger, fries and a coke,” and turns to the ostrich, “What’s yours?”“I’ll have the same,” says the ostrich.A short time later the waitress returns with the order “That will be $9.40 please,” and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for paymentThe next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, “A hamburger, fries and a coke.” The ostrich says, “I’ll have the same.” Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.This becomes routine until the two enter again. “The usual?” asks the waitress.“No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked. I had just been hoping I hadn't heard him right. I was hoping nobody else had heard him, either. He wasn't being all that careful about keeping his voice down, and the other men, and Big Brother, there, Roy Junior, weren't that far removed from us."Uh. What makes you think -- uh -- that, sir?" Aren't you? Jesus Christ, boy, are you gonna deny it?" No, sir." Is that why she hired you to drive for her, and caddie for her? How long you been slipping her the meat, boy? You charge extra for that? The stud service?" How old is your daughter, sir?" Tess? She's 23. What's that got to do with anything?" She's 23, and a college graduate. Did you expect she was, maybe, still a virgin? What business is it of yours, who she's sleeping with?" Feisty little bastard, aren't you, boy?" I'm not feisty, nor little, nor a bastard," I told him, rapidly losing my cool. I'm a friend of your daughter's, invited, by her, to a family gathering." Oh, yes... And I'm not behaving like a gracious host. Is that.
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