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‘I could tell_’ she said, ‘That you were deep in thought. I sometimes feel like that at this time of the morning. That’s why I come here. I can think. What brings you out?’ Something in my head was telling me not to answer, to shut up, to leave it, let it go. Vampire queens looked like this woman, ageless, used, but beautiful. Strong, lithe, hard, deadly, but somewhere in the night I had crossed into the necropolis, and I was already a dead man walking. I didn’t give a fuck anymore. I started to talk, to tell her about the way my life had gone recently and she listened, she listened attentively and, I felt, compassionately. I unfolded the sad history of my divorce and the writing. She asked intelligent questions and nodded sympathetically in all of the right places, and I went deeper, probing my own sadness and anger. I couldn’t stop talking to her. I wanted to tell her everything. Occasionally I would ask her something but she evaded my questions easily, skilfully and gently,. ”December 29, 1984, McKinley, OhioOn Saturday morning, after Clarissa and I ate breakfast with Doctor Blahnik and Derek, I decided to call Doctor Mercer’s office to see if, by chance, she was in, and if she was available. She answered, and after a bit of back and forth, she suggested we simply speak by phone later in the morning when she’d finished her appointment. I decided that was the best option and that I could tell Elizaveta after the fact. Doctor Mercer called back about ninety minutes later, as we’d agreed.“There was actually a good reason I suggested you come completely clean,” Doctor Mercer said after I’d explained the situation.“Yes, I know, and I hope you’ll spare me more ‘I told you so’ answers.”“One per patient,” Doctor Mercer said lightly. “It does have to be said to make a point, but beating a dead horse isn’t very effective.”“No, it isn’t. So, what’s your advice?”“In all honesty? Patience. She has to work through her concerns and there really isn’t much you can do.
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