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I did not screw Linda Shoesmith. All these sleazy, twee little double-entendres are not my style. If I fuck a woman, I will tell you. You will be the first - or more likely, the third - to know. I repeat, I did not screw Linda Shoesmith.She screwed me. I never had to move a muscle. Quite how she managed to be so ... well ... physical ... with all that lot hanging from her chest, I do not know, but no doubt it's a question of sustained practice. We performed our act on the living room carpet. The television was on, but I cannot for the life of me remember anything about the show. For me, this is a damning indictment of the quality of British daytime television.What I do remember was Linda's mountainous breasts flopping massively against my face every time she bucked like a top of the range rodeo rough-rider mounted on my (admittedly no-more-than-average) prick. I never saw Linda's face throughout the entire process, although afterwards - when she had rolled off with a sigh - we kissed. ” That was not the last time either.Knowing little about birth control, she became pregnant quickly and her desire for coupling increased greatly. It was delightful that men who knew her began showing interest in her curvy body. Although her husband coupled with her frequently, she had time alone during the day and, like a moth to a flame, men eager to join with her presented themselves. Her urges to couple overcame any prohibitions she had been raised with. Some were family, and some were friends. With even rudimentary seductive skills, she welcomed them to scratch her itch, often saying as they mounted her, “Oh, I love the way your lingam fills me. Keep moving like that. Hold back your cream as long as you can so I can have the big pleasure.”It would’ve been unthinkable when she was single for any of these men to approach her for sexual connections. But now that her virginity and purity was gone, it was a different game. Especially since she was pregnant, and no one could do that.
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