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And those Meals on Wheels you’ve been sending over are the best!”The secret to a long life... A cowboy told his grandson the secret to a long life. He said. “You gotta sprinkle a little gunpowder on your oatmeal, see. If you do, you’ll live to nice ripe old age.”So, the young cowboy did this religiously every day, and sure enough, lived to be the nice ripe old age of 96.When he died, he left behind 4 children, 8 grandchildren, 15 great-grandchildren ... and a 16-foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.Bad Mom?“Can you pleasehold my hand?” A mother asks her son: “Anton, do you think I’m a bad mom?”Son: “My name is Paul.”✧ ✧ ✧After the floodAfter 150 days off flooding, Noah released all the animals from his ark and commanded then to go forth and multiply.After some time, he saw that the flocks and herds were regaining their numbers, but he came across a pair of snakes who had laid no eggs, and were just laying about.“Why have you not multiplied?” he asked.To which the snakes. Bye.” Later that evening: Lt. Robert Mills had gone out to one of the local dive bars and had several drinks to drown his sorrows because of the loss of Emma. When he arrived back at his apartment there at the top of the stairs was Annie of all people and she said, “Where were you?”Robert wasn’t drunk just depressed, “At the Green Top having a couple of beers. I didn’t cook dinner do you mind if we order out tonight?”Annie gave him a big smile and said, “Anything you want.” Late last night when she, Robert and Emma were all fooling around Annie had an epiphany that she wanted to try things again with Robert. She made sure she fucked his brains out and won her man back. “So, Rob, what do you think if I move back in here with you? I could always send a ‘Dear Chuck’ letter to Chuck and be done with him.”Robert had a small smile cross his face, “You would really come back to me after I cheated on you with Emma?”Annie said, “Of course you silly dope. Whose idea was it to have a.
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