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He said "you wanna see?"We went upstairs. I had fantasized about this for half my life up till that point. I was going to be a tigress. I would say all sorts of brilliant and witty quips. But instead what flicked through my mind was an episode of the Wonder Years that had played last night. Where he'd stood with Winnie on a hill and they were finally, fucking Finally, going to tell each other they liked each other. They stood on the hill and he drew circles with his foot. It symbolized shyness, and deep feelings of adoration that could not be spoken. In the bedroom there was thin shitty carpeting and my foot tried to draw circles, I tried to be the sweet innocent girl with the older man, but my foot kept catching on the carpet and I must have looked really foolish. He stared at me grinning for a while. Then he went up to the bed, which was a bunk bed. He didn't use the bottom, the bottom was removed for space. The lights were out. We kissed up there in the top corner of his room. It. You done good! You made the right call. Hell of a catch and hell of a run. You are a winner.’ The coach drove the point home by handing him the game ball a few minutes later in the locker room. Everyone agreed with the decision. That first game occurred on the Friday night prior to the Monday beginning of the academic year. In small town rural America, everyone attends the Friday night football game. Kids who had always avoided him smiled and said kind words. Even the principal who had paddled him on several occasions commended him. Teachers praised his actions. The principal asked him to step into his office during the lunch hour. It was a far different visit than he had ever before experienced. ‘John, don’t worry, you’re not in any trouble,’ the principal said with a smile. John had never recalled seeing him smile before, certainly not in his presence. ‘I’m sorry that I did not fully comprehend what you—and your mother—were going through. Had I known I would have done something.
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