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"She left anyway and now I was alone on Christmas Eve. I heated a 'Healthy-low fat, no taste" turkey dinner in the microwave and sat down with a beer. The bell rang, letting me know that the turkey was still half frozen and the "delicious apple desert" was burnt into a pile of steaming gunk.I ate it anyway, using the beer to clear the bad taste out of my mouth. I watched a little TV channel surfing until I stopped on the Adult Entertainment channel. Finding that the action was causing a definite reaction in me, I turned it. I was not in the mood for a date with Rosie and her 5 sisters."Hey Santa!" I yelled out at the empty room, "I don't need any socks or underwear, or sweaters that would fit a sumo wrestler, If you really want to know what I want this year, I want to get laid on Christmas Eve!" Of course Santa did not answer.I finally crawled up to the bedroom, stripped down and fell onto the bed. I went to sleep thinking of devious ways to get Cindy's father out of the picture. My. It is always next to me where I can feel it and reach it in a hurry. Now Quackser Fortune may have had a cousin in the Bronx, but I lucked out one better. I had an Uncle Jorge who owned a German bakery in Brooklyn Heights. That’s the snobby area of Brooklyn, with its expensive three-story townhouses and killer views of Manhattan from the Promenade. So apart from the fact that Uncle Jorge made cheese blintzes to die for; he also had a loft above the bakery that had remained unused for anything but mouse droppings since the Civil War. hat loft, dear friends, became the office for Deveraux Private Investigations. Well hell, you didn’t expect me to hang out a shingle saying, Tittsfield, Private Dick, did you? With that piece of personal trivia out of the way, I’ll go back to where I had been telling you about the sweat-drenched politico sitting opposite me in a booth in the back of Tony’s Bar. ~ ~ ~ "It’s my sister’s daughter… my niece… she’s been kidnapped.” I took another pull on my.
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