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I must go, please forgive me.” Blake says this as he starts to leave the room.“Wait! Please stay. I want to talk to you about something.” Blake turns to see Aloisea walking towards him. Her hand touches his shoulder and he feels an energy shoot through his body.“It’s ok elder. I know it must be hard to abstain but please don’t go. Let me show you something.”Blake is looking down at the ground in shame when he feels Aloisea pull him further into the room, away from the open door. Outside, it is still dark outside and he knows he cannot walk back to the dwelling without a light.Aloisea lets go of his hand and steps back. “Do you like what you see elder?”“Ummm, yes, but I cannot do this.” Blake feels tears running down his face. They sting with guilt. He knows he is close to breaking a pack he made with his faith.“Then touch me elder.”Blake looks up and see’s Aloisea has dropped her dress to her feet. The silhouette of her body against the oven fire is mesmerizing. Her tits. I was used to the smell of it, but not to having any. Where the hell was I? What would happen next? I would hang in there and not give in. This was like a competition. I had always liked sex, but it had often disappointed me. A part from the time with Tom. I had ended up comparing it to sports. Enduring, hanging in, pushing further. And then winning. As long as I could keep the right distance and master my mind, I would be able to do it, whatever 'it' turned out to be. And then go back home, put my sweater on, hide under a blanket; and forget. As usual. But this was not as usual. Where was I? What the fuck was this about? Why did it turn me on so much? The warm water helped me release some of my tension. I felt sore and tired. I washed my body, my hair. Was I being prepared – but for what? Why me? Why go through all the hassle? I couldn’t make head and tail of this. There were enough pretty, willing and sexy women on the market. They didn’t need me. And Tom? What was his part in.
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