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I was a freshman there in the university. I had my first ever row of exams I was really freaked out to take. I had only a few days to prepare for my exams and I hadn’t had anything in my empty head. I didn’t study any of the English and I had to do that exam in order to pass to the next semester.Professor told me to come and see her on January, 3rd. I had no time to prepare for the exam because there was too much partying and I was still a bit hangover. I had no desire to prepare myself but I still had to go and at least show up.And so I came to university without knowing what the hell to come up with in order to pass the exams. There were many English language classrooms in the building and I had to run around to find for my professor. By the way, my professor was an old lady, very strict one who was very difficult to get along with. So, while looking for the old dame I bumped into a young teacher. I had seen her before, like a couple of times. She was sitting alone in the classroom. Instead I looked at myselfin the mirror and asked myself: "How can I appear more female? Is itthe walk? How did that guy know that I was not a real woman?"I resolved that if I was going to live this way, I had better do itright. But there was really no "if" in my thinking. Somehow the ideaof abandoning my journey into womanhood just seemed to have beendiscarded without any logical assessment.The booklet was on the dresser - "Sex Affirmation Surgery - A Guide forTranswomen." Was that what I was? A transwoman? To find out, I wouldneed to read it.It all seemed very complicated. There were complicated assessments anda very long transition process set out in the book. But the chapter on"Surgery" included what appeared to be a "no questions asked" Thailandbased surgical clinic. Well, not quite no questions, but certainly anoption that appeared to cater for a need that appeared to me to bebecoming quite urgent. I needed to be rid of my genitals.I had to accept that the way that.
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