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What’s the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?You can unscrew a lightbulb.What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say?We’re closed. Beat it.How do you embarrass an archaeologist?Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it comes from.I took a poop in the elevator. I’m taking this shit to a whole new level.What do you call a deaf gynecologist?A lip reader.What do you call a herd of cows masturbating?Beef strokin’ off.Why do vegans give better head?They’re used to eating nuts.I’m not sure how I feel about masturbation...On the one hand, it’s pretty great.A man goes to the doctor and says “I’ve got a problem, I have 5 penises.”He replies, “Like a glove.”How did you quit smoking?I decided to start smoking only after sex.How did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?He forgot to wrap his Whopper.How is sex like a game of bridge?With a great hand, you don’t even need a partner.What do you call a virgin lying on a waterbed?A cherry float.What do you get when. I whisper to her, you can just make out that I am encouraging her to suck you as I shag her hard from behind. The reason for this is two fold - it is pretty clear that you need the relief and secondly spit-roast feels incredible for the guys as well as the girls: many a time I have been sucked off by a girl when she is being fucked hard from the other direction, it is not something you forget easily. The harder I thrust and the deeper I penetrate her, the sexier her mouth feels on your cock, she really get to feel that your woman is being fucked hard and fucked well.I grab her spare hand and get her to insert a finger into her slit, side by side with my cock, she frigs herself and then I recommend that she offer you her soaked finger to suck, you lick it, it tastes of cunt that's been well-fucked by a huge cock. I don't allow her to go back to sucking you after this though, as I can see you are about to blow, instead I get her to use her hand to pump you dry. However I soon realise.
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