‘Welcome to our humble camp, Sir William. It has been entirely to long since you have graced us with your presence. We welcome you and your lady as we welcome a long lost family member. Welcome.’ ‘Thank you, Ranulf. We appreciate your warm welcome and your hospitality. We have brought a little something for the bride and groom.’ Reaching into the coach he pulls out a cloth bag that is full of bread, cloth and wine. ‘Sir, you need not bring a gift. After all, you are the founder of this feast! If it were not for you generosity in letting us camp here every time we come through, we would not be celebrating this marriage. You see, 19 years ago, when we came through and stayed here, my daughter was conceived. So you see, your family has been good to us. Now we would repay the kindness with kindness.’ Turning to the men who were standing behind him he made a motion and they pull out instruments of every kind. When they start to play William and I find a place to sit down on the ground a. After five years of that I was so sexually frustrated that I was ready to take a meat axe to Harold while he was sleeping and hope that a jury wouldn't convict after they heard the story.One day I was over at my friend Marge's and we got to drinking. The more I poured down my throat the more talkative I became and soon I was telling Marge about my non-existent sex life. We were still talking when her husband Matt came home."Hey ladies, what'' up?" Nothing honey, just drinking and making girl talk." Girl talk? What's that, code for talking about sex?" No, the lack of it" I blurted out.Matt made a 'give' motion with his hands and Marge brought him up to date on my sad story."That's a crying shame" he said, "A good looking piece like you going to waste." You watch it Matt" Marge hissed, "Don't you going getting any ideas." Oh I got an idea honey, but not the kind you're thinking of."Matt got up and left the room and I said, "Honest Marge, even if that is what he was thinking I wouldn't.
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