And I grew up. I knew I couldn't run away. I had to go back and confront Les. And do whatever I could to make it right.I spent the ride back coming up with questions. Would Les ever talk to me again? Would I have to explain why I raped my sister to my parents? Would they send me away somewhere? Have me arrested? What if Les was pregnant? Or if I'd caused some kind of damage to her? And most important, how could I do this to my sister?It started raining the last 15 minutes or so and I was soaked by the time I got home. I put my bike in the garage and went into the kitchen. There was a note on the table from Les saying that Mom, Dad and Jaz were spending the night at our Aunt's house and wouldn't be back till tomorrow afternoon. That meant I had a chance to talk with Les before my parents got home.I walked upstairs after determining that Les wasn't on the first floor. It felt like I was walking toward the gas chamber but I kept going. Her door was pushed to but not closed and there was. I needed to let it anchor me, because I was turning paranoid; I could swear there was something more, something dark and knowing in Kate’s eyes.For a moment, I wondered if she actually knew, if she had caught onto what I had been doing, but bidding her time, waiting for the perfect moment to act out her revenge. I wondered what she would do to me. I wondered if she would do it out of jealousy over Missy or hatred for me.Or maybe both?Yeah, probably both.But I had nothing to fear.There was no way that my wife knew anything, I told myself for the millionth time. I had been beyond careful. It was probably the fact that I just wasn’t cut out for this double life I was living now and it was eating away at me, subconsciously.“Back now, though!” I faked a cheer I hadn’t felt in years, not around Kate, at least, and smoothed the blanket over my body.She made a face at me, then looked away and let her head drop back down onto the pillow, covering it with dark, tangled curls of hair, before.
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