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It completely spoiled our 10th anniversary.* My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job. I said "Son, that's 3 schools this year! You'd better stop before you're banned from teaching altogether."* The cost of living has now gotten so bad that my wife is having sex with me because she can't afford batteries.* A man calls 911 and says "I think my wife is dead". The operator says, "How do you know?" The man says "The sex is about the same, but the ironing is piling up!"* I was explaining to my wife last night that when you die you get reincarnated but must come back as a different creature. She said she would like to come back as a cow. I said, "You obviously haven't been listening."* My wife has been missing a week now. The police said to prepare for the worst. So, I had to go down to Goodwill to get all of her clothes back.Compliments of LarryOne hot summer day, Bruce came to town with his dog, tied it under the shade of a tree, and. I have a little under 8 inches, and it was like a rock all night. But I couldn't get near her because all the jocks were hanging around waiting their turns...and also because I had a big dick, but little, bitty pussy-balls - I didn't have the nerve to approach Nancy MacNamara, especially at a party in front of my friends.So I just watched, and drank...and ached.When I got so drunk I couldn't walk, my buddy Terry decided it was time to go. I protested that I was gonna get laid tonight, just as soon as Nancy was available, but Terry had better sense. He poured me into his car and drove me home. I later learned that I gave Terry shit all the way home for dragging me away from my fantasy date with destiny.Somehow we made it home and up my front steps without any disasters, but getting through the front door was another matter. Terry was trying to hold me up straight enough that I wouldn't fall while he unlocked the front door with my key. Once we got the door opened, I leaned against it,.
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