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Later many more.I got promoted to Prefect and Professor at my 'Experimental Erotics International Institute' in Amsterdam. I have hosted there 'dirty dozens' of Sex Students from all continents, ages between eighteen & sexy sixty.In my private love life I had dozens of virgins, some still teen, several in early twenties, or 'virgins' in coming.I used to keep my daily notes about my private life in handwritten diaries. I started to do them 40 years ago.I mostly wrote about my 'love life' in the widest possible sense. My foxy fantasies, women I want, gals I dig.I have about one meter of them on my book shelf. Few holes, sometimes of months: my overland India-trip.I failed to make any notes last couple of years. Few years I did 'double bookkeeping': my open & private life.I kept summaries, at times even full transcripts of interesting intimate inquiries by means mutual messages.I never regretted my break, now I do. In new make-up here everything got worse. Reading back chats as well.I. They'd been terribly sympathetic when I finally acknowledged that Susan had gone out of my life. I gave them no details, of course—what was I going to say?—but they realized that it hadn't been my decision. They were really sorry for me—for a while.The "while" had long since been over with, though, and I was getting pushed to "put it behind me" and "get on with living." "Man, the thing to do when you fall off is just get right back on," I was told; "get your social life started again." Nobody seemed to remember that, pre-Susan, my "social life" had been pretty much a zero; that kind of goes with the status of certified nerd. Besides, when you've had your dream and lost it, it's tough to get all excited over the idea of settling for an empty substitute.But my friends didn't want to listen to that, which they downplayed as "just whining." I'm not sure why friendship is deemed these days an excuse for intrusion into one's private feelings, but it seems to be so in the eyes of an awful.
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