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Like those big heavy American cars with their sloppy suspension, Bernie didn’t have very much of a chance of changing direction, without a resultant pile up. I’d slid off the stool and taken a couple of paces away from the bar before Bernie ploughed into the vacant seat with an almighty crash. He then lay on the floor on top of a little pile of firewood that had once been a bar stool, whilst he tried to figure out what had just happened. I think I told you Bernie weren’t all that quick on the old up take. Figuring that now was the opportune moment, I bent down, grabbed Bernie’s arm and rolled him over onto his back. Then swinging my leg over his bulk, I settled my arse on his chest, trapping both his arms with my legs and looked down at his crimson face. Bernie, I figured, was well pissed off about something. ‘What the fuck is your problem man?’ I demanded. ‘You, you arsehole! How could you do that to my sister?’ ‘How could I do what, Bernie? I have no idea what you’re are talking. It's thewishy-washy in betweens that become the butt of jokes. You werespared all that. People saw Mel on Friday and Melissa on Monday,and at first they were were shocked into silence - she was sounexpected. And so stunning. You still do reduce people tosilence when you're dolled up, you know?.-I think they're embarrassed for me.-No, they don't know you weren't born that way. It's that trulybeautiful women are rare. And you're truly beautiful now. Yourface was always wasted on a man. I told you that long before Imarried you. I've always wanted to play dressup with you, to seehow you'd come out. And during this past year I've had my chance.-Hmmp.-Say thank you, Melissa. You've just been extravagantlycomplimented.-Thank you. -There were repercussions. Maybe you remember that Bruce was outof town on a buying trip all that week, so he didn't see what hadhappened to you until the following weekend, when I took you toDonna's house so I could show you off. He just flipped.
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