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. ". I stopped without completing the sentence. I didn't want to look like a moonstruck teenager."I was what, Arland?" Striking. That is the best word I can think of. When I saw you, I just put all of the pieces together in my head and found myself interested." Did I remind you of Monica?" Yes and no. That first day, I felt guilty when I returned to my room. I felt that I was betraying Monica just by noticing you. She wasn't even cold in the ground and I was looking at another woman. It took a whole week for me to sort things out in my head. The good thing was that finding you brought me out of my emotional slump. Just being interested in something again was a big improvement over wallowing in self pity. I miss Monica deeply. She was my first and only love."I had to stop and pause for a few seconds. Morna put her hand on my knee, not in a romantic way, but in a comforting way."Arland. Was your interest in me romantic or something else?" I don't know. I wasn't looking for sex or. The guy had told her that if she did, her bi-curious moment would get back to her parents, her friends and the internet. That was all it took to silence her. There are times I’m a little ashamed of my gender. The thing that shocked me was that the rape had worked. She told me she’d never do a girl again. I found that bizarre, in her circumstance, it was guys I’d have given up on. But I was learning that rape had different effects on different people. Rape was still around and going strong, I was starting to realize, because it sometimes does accomplish a guy’s aims. However vile. She told me what dorm he lived in, and what kind of girl he liked — Asians, as it turned out, which meant meeting him was going to be pretty simple. She told me not to go near him. He’d seem really nice at first, but… he got intense fast, and he was so persuasive. I was going to show him what persuasive meant. ** He was easy enough to find. And fuck was he cute. I actually caught myself thinking maybe it.
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