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Thats how it started and I think that I navely thought it would be a one off . One evening making love to a friend while I was present would be a thrill for us both, but then we were about to move house and home and that would be it. But our house didnt sell as we thought and its been going on now for eight weeks, plus Im having to spend longer periods away and Sue is seeing Ben more and they are getting more adventurous in their sex life. Sue has found a new lease of sex life and sometimes doesnt seem to be the woman I married. Ben is a bit of an animal where sex is concerned, hes always got a hard-on, not that Im complaining, I saw him in the supermarket on Wednesday he grabbed my hand and made me feel how hard he was. I dont think of making love any more, Its more like he takes me, and I let him. We did it in the garden one evening last week, the neighbours dog came out and must have heard us as it started barking, Joe and his misses came out to see what was going on, there was me. "Of course you can see my studio ... when you are ready ... are you ready?"My answer almost, but not quite, a lie. No, I wasn't ready. I didn't really think so. But I had known I wouldn't be more ready in a day, a week or even a month either. I was as ready as I would ever be."You know you won't just be looking, don't you? To understand what I do, you need to experience a little of what I do..."No. I hadn't known. I didn't know. And if I had known I probably wouldn't have asked. But I had asked and now I was expected to say something. I understood that Ann wanted me to say either yes or no, that she would wait until I consciously made my own decision. For once the silence didn't feel comfortable but oppressive. Not because I had felt urged or hurried by Ann, I was pretty sure she'd give me all the time I needed. But more time wouldn't help me.I didn't even know what I was afraid of. Certainly not of Ann, or I wouldn't be here. Maybe I was worried that I might not like it. Or maybe I.
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